So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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