That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Couch. On fire.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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