VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
