Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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