so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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