I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
