you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
