i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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