So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
high people should be assigned attendants
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
