Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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