my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
