she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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