After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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