Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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