But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
