Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
