no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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