Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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