Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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