How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
