he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
