I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
