after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
