Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
