Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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