Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
