My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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