gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
