Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
