Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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