i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
