This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
