He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
