I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
