I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize