It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
