I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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