I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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