I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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