is your mom at the bar?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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