Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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