How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
