doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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