Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
