we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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