my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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