I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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