Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
