Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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