He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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