Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
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$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
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The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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