his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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