my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
