Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
