apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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