Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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