Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so let's talk penis.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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