I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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