We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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