What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
